Monday, December 20, 2010

Not Everything Happens For A Reason

I've never been a fan of the adage, 'Everything happens for a reason.' I believe this statement condones acceptance more than it fuels the fire to fight for what we want in this world. I prefer instead to say:

"Sometimes, things happen because you aren't sure of your reason."

No one is immune to struggle or adversity, they are a desperate part of life, critical I believe to the growth and development of our character. Accepting certain struggles however, is dangerous. If you are unsure of what you wish to obtain, or what you want to accomplish, or overall, what you want from Life, then it is easy to fall victim to the notion [that] when bad things happen, 'they were supposed to happen to you.' Worse still, if something doesn't happen the way you wanted it to, you immediately believe 'it wasn't supposed to' or 'wasn't meant to be.' I believe this attitude only hinders your ability to ever fight for what you want and end up where you want to be. Accomplishing a goal is hard work. Creating success is possible for any one of us, not just a few limited people. I believe the people who accomplish more in their life are simply people who appreciate adversity and have a clear vision, or overall direction, for their future. Knowing what you want from Life is essential to personal accomplishment and adversity is the critical component to helping you change. Change is necessary because we cannot appreciate what we work for, being the people we are when we set sail on our quest. The Hero in a story doesn't return home the same as they did when they first set sail to embark in the unknown; just the same, we should expect to develop and grow during the course of our life quest. The only thing however that truly brings about a change in character is adversity. 

The next time you face struggles or are set back from accomplishing a goal in your life, don't be so quick to give-in because you believe the adversity, struggle, setback, etc., "happened for a reason." Instead, make sure you are clear on what you wish to accomplish and determine whether its worth fighting for. For those who have a limited picture of what they want from Life, it will be easy to quit when struggle arrives at their doorstep. I believe, had they known more about themselves and what they wanted to accomplish, they wouldn't have given up so quickly.

Be sure you have a clear picture of what you want from Life. Protect your dream and be willing to fight for it, at any costs, contrary to what you face in your life journey, because not having a reason, value or purpose, sometimes, can only force you to accept pathways that were never intended for your life.

...serving the soul of humanity...

Bobby Ozuna
Author | Motivational Speaker | Teacher


Beth Elliott said...

I agree we must react to challenges and keep our ideals so we work towards them. But what about when the adversity seems to get stronger, the more you struggle against it? Don't you think there is a point where you are too exhausted to fight on? [I'm not there yet!!]

Author, Public Speaker & Internet Talk Show Host, Bobby Ozuna said...

Beth: It has been my experience (personally) that the victory oftentimes comes when we relinquish the fight. As long as the boxer is in the ring, there is a fight, because in the ring, there is always an opponent.

Sometimes, we have to step away and spend some quiet time alone to determine or re-evaluate our circumstances and ask--from an outside perspective--what is it we are truly fighting? Where is the source of the adversity coming from? Is it really a spiritual or worldly opposition or are we battling an ideal within our own mind?

I speak from experience when I say, many of the struggles I have faced in my life were self-inflicted. I am the bull. The stubborn mule and I am aware of it, now. (self awareness is key to growth by the way) Much of what I faced in my life was caused by my unwillingness to change or my stubborn pride. I was fighting a minute level of adversity but creating a greater threat from within. Acceptance is key. I am a man of faith and thereby I do NOT believe God would purposely set forth struggles to destroy us, so much as they are purposed to prune us and refine us, minimizing the amount of "stuff" we have in our life (be it, spiritual, mental, physical, tangible, etc.) that can hinder our ability to be our best--to act on behalf of our true self.

Sometimes Beth, I am saying, our struggles are minimal...sometimes they are heavy...sometimes they aren't our fight, but we make them our fight...and sometimes, we step back, see them for what they are--holes in the road--and find ways to move around them, never looking back, as our focus should be on our prize, not the hindrances that prohibit us from claiming that reward.

I hope this helps.


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