Another Step Into the Deep Waters...

 

So, yesterday I took another step into the unknown regions of my faith and walk with the Lord. There is so much complexity into my backstory, of which only a few people in my life know. I struggled with shame and embarrassment in my faith for many, many years. I believe the source of those feelings are end results of how people have made me feel for choosing to follow Christ. In the past, people who said they loved me the most, mocked me or ridiculed me for my faith, and despite my attitude of "no one tells me what to do"--those words impacted me. They resonated deep within my soul and they hurt me. They limited me and my walk with the Lord. I've lived many of my years "in Christ" with one foot in and one foot out. I was always a "believer" but rarely a follower. I knew "of Christ" but wouldn't pursue Him. I knew the Word and the gospel message--but I wouldn't commit to it. I believed--but I did not trust. 

I've been on a new journey these past 3 years of my life, and recently, I made a decision to continue my path into the unknown regions of my faith. In honor of my gift of teaching--something that did not spur in me until the day I gave my life to the Lord--I chose to share aspects of my gift of teaching more openly with the world. I wrestled with this decision for some time now, afraid, excited, nervous, brave, you name it--I've gone back and forth with a variety of emotions. We are called to live by faith, not by feelings--so I took the plunge. 

See, I've been blessed to teach mathematics for many years. I've been successful, to state it humbly, to help many others with their academic struggles in math. My efforts have blessed families--I've helped people get into college, get out of college, move from elementary school to middle, middle to high school and helped many, many students graduate from high school. I've been complimented for my teaching style for many years. About a decade ago I started reminding people, if and when they complimented me, [that] my teaching is "a gift." That isn't a lie, but it was only partially true. All good gifts come from the Lord, but how we choose to use those gifts is up to us. The more transparent answer is: I have been given a gift of teaching to use to share the gospel message. God honored the gift--as I have helped many people in mathematical struggles--but that is not why He gave me that gift. The Lord blessed me with a gift of teaching to share His message of salvation, redemption and grace. Yesterday, I acted on that gift and calling. 

Yesterday I opted to share the gospel message more openly. Since I am actively working to create the bible studies for the book of James, I thought, I would expand on that message and share it online. You can find that video here. 

Now, there is nothing left to do but pursue the Lord...and bring the loaves and fishes to the table...so that He can do the work.